My teenage son Harrison is visiting his maternal grandfather in China for the summer. In order to stay in touch, I recently activated a Skype account and am becoming familiar with the video call feature.
We quickly discovered that I didn’t have the necessary hardware: while I have the video camera that allows him to see me and the speakers that allow me to hear him, I don’t have a microphone which will allow me to speak. Consequently, we see one another and he speaks to me, but I have to type all of my responses.
After one of our recent calls, I glanced at the transcript left on screen. It reads like some strange poem:
[7/20/2010 9:41:13 PM] I can hear you perfectly
[7/20/2010 9:41:27 PM] I can see you, but you're fuzzy
[7/20/2010 9:41:32 PM] Yes.
[7/20/2010 9:41:46 PM] It's like a series of still pictures.
[7/20/2010 9:41:57 PM] What room are you in?
[7/20/2010 9:42:04 PM] What's that horse?
[7/20/2010 9:42:17 PM] Cool.
[7/20/2010 9:42:32 PM] Oh yeah?
[7/20/2010 9:42:51 PM] Does your Grandpa know them?
[7/20/2010 9:43:04 PM] Near by?
[7/20/2010 9:43:11 PM] Army? Bummer.
[7/20/2010 9:43:31 PM] Air Force.
[7/20/2010 9:43:35 PM] They're more civilized.
[7/20/2010 9:43:45 PM] They have some civil unrest.
[7/20/2010 9:43:51 PM] Not too bad.
[7/20/2010 9:44:01 PM] Me too.
[7/20/2010 9:44:09 PM] I'm sure it'll be OK.
[7/20/2010 9:44:13 PM] Yeah?
[7/20/2010 9:44:22 PM] Yes. She's pretty.
[7/20/2010 9:44:29 PM] Cool.
[7/20/2010 9:44:34 PM] Will you see her again soon?
[7/20/2010 9:44:54 PM] Where do you see them?
[7/20/2010 9:45:10 PM] Is that close to the house?
[7/20/2010 9:45:15 PM] Yes, picture clear.
[7/20/2010 9:45:35 PM] I only see a mutant.
[7/20/2010 9:45:49 PM] You look post-apocalyptic.
[7/20/2010 9:46:05 PM] Wow.
[7/20/2010 9:46:10 PM] That makes a funny noise.
[7/20/2010 9:46:18 PM] What do you have planned today?
[7/20/2010 9:46:33 PM] Bummer
[7/20/2010 9:46:44 PM] How's your Grandpa and Colleen?
[7/20/2010 9:47:05 PM] Is he bummed out about not working?
[7/20/2010 9:47:18 PM] Cool.
[7/20/2010 9:47:22 PM] He's an interesting dude.
[7/20/2010 9:47:27 PM] Has he told you any stories?
[7/20/2010 9:47:49 PM] Once you're older, he'll probably tell you more of them.
[7/20/2010 9:48:07 PM] Maoist wine?
[7/20/2010 9:48:12 PM] Sounds crappy.
[7/20/2010 9:48:22 PM] No?
[7/20/2010 9:48:26 PM] Oh.
[7/20/2010 9:48:43 PM] Well, they had nice hats.
[7/20/2010 9:49:24 PM] Sounds like a cool bottle.
[7/20/2010 9:49:33 PM] Cool.
[7/20/2010 9:49:37 PM] Glad you got to try it.
[7/20/2010 9:49:43 PM] Maybe...
[7/20/2010 9:49:51 PM] Yes, that's true.
[7/20/2010 9:50:00 PM] Sure.
[7/20/2010 9:50:06 PM] Hey, I did some research...
[7/20/2010 9:50:18 PM] ...on the microphone thing.
[7/20/2010 9:50:29 PM] I think my computer is trying to look for the microphone...
[7/20/2010 9:50:37 PM] ...the same place it finds the speakers.
[7/20/2010 9:50:50 PM] Yes.
[7/20/2010 9:51:00 PM] There's no internal mike on this piece of shizzle.
[7/20/2010 9:51:25 PM] Sure. This just isn't too good a PC.
[7/20/2010 9:51:31 PM] It's old.
[7/20/2010 9:51:55 PM] Sounds bad.
[7/20/2010 9:52:01 PM] How hot is it?
[7/20/2010 9:52:13 PM] Sounds hot.
[7/20/2010 9:52:35 PM] Seen any crazy cab drivers?
[7/20/2010 9:53:13 PM] Sure.
[7/20/2010 9:53:17 PM] The subway sounds good.
[7/20/2010 9:53:26 PM] What were you going to say about your Mom?
[7/20/2010 9:53:38 PM] Heat stroke?
[7/20/2010 9:53:42 PM] Bummer.
[7/20/2010 9:53:52 PM] Maybe she's dehydrated.
[7/20/2010 9:54:04 PM] Sure.
[7/20/2010 9:54:13 PM] Have you had any good food?
[7/20/2010 9:54:25 PM] Not that I want to change the topic away from the runs.
[7/20/2010 9:54:36 PM] Japanese food?
[7/20/2010 9:54:39 PM] Sounds good.
[7/20/2010 9:54:56 PM] Blue Frog?
[7/20/2010 9:55:04 PM] Do they have TV in English?
[7/20/2010 9:55:11 PM] What shows?
[7/20/2010 9:55:31 PM] What's that movie?
[7/20/2010 9:56:24 PM] Taxes are like monsters.
[7/20/2010 9:56:32 PM] Big and scary.
[7/20/2010 9:56:42 PM] Cool.
[7/20/2010 9:56:49 PM] Was there an apocalypse?
[7/20/2010 9:57:07 PM] Maybe obsessed with a small "o"
[7/20/2010 9:57:27 PM] I'll explain...
[7/20/2010 9:57:41 PM] When someone is doing something in a big way, you say that...
[7/20/2010 9:57:54 PM] ...they are doing it with a big first letter.
[7/20/2010 9:57:58 PM] Like this...
[7/20/2010 9:58:06 PM] I love pizza with a big "L"
[7/20/2010 9:58:15 PM] Like, LOVE.
[7/20/2010 9:58:40 PM] So a small first letter means not too...er...
[7/20/2010 9:58:51 PM] enthusiastically or extremely.
[7/20/2010 9:59:10 PM] Yeah.
[7/20/2010 9:59:22 PM] Are you adjusted to the time difference?
[7/20/2010 9:59:35 PM] Do they let you sleep in?
[7/20/2010 9:59:52 PM] Really? Why?
[7/20/2010 10:00:06 PM] That sucks.
[7/20/2010 10:00:16 PM] 6?
[7/20/2010 10:00:20 PM] What's that beeping?
[7/20/2010 10:00:34 PM] Nice watch.
[7/20/2010 10:00:50 PM] Looks good.
[7/20/2010 10:01:05 PM] Is it real?
[7/20/2010 10:01:14 PM] Good enough.
[7/20/2010 10:01:35 PM] What did the site say?
[7/20/2010 10:02:08 PM] Some guy took pictures of our school from the air using an RC plane.
[7/20/2010 10:02:21 PM] I don't know.
[7/20/2010 10:02:26 PM] He just sent them to us.
[7/20/2010 10:02:33 PM] We didn't even know him.
[7/20/2010 10:02:52 PM] He uses our soccer fields for a landing strip.
[7/20/2010 10:03:01 PM] No, really.
[7/20/2010 10:03:06 PM] OK
[7/20/2010 10:03:47 PM] Yep.
[7/20/2010 10:03:50 PM] I'm here.
[7/20/2010 10:04:04 PM] Iron man?
[7/20/2010 10:04:09 PM] That's cool.
[7/20/2010 10:04:12 PM] I liked that one.
[7/20/2010 10:04:27 PM] We saw it together.
[7/20/2010 10:04:42 PM] I dunno.
[7/20/2010 10:04:45 PM] Both were good.
[7/20/2010 10:04:49 PM] Maybe the first one.
[7/20/2010 10:04:57 PM] But just a little.
[7/20/2010 10:05:14 PM] OK, sounds fun.
[7/20/2010 10:05:34 PM] Maybe we can play charades.
[7/20/2010 10:05:42 PM] I can do charades instead of type.
[7/20/2010 10:05:50 PM] OK. Good to talk to you.
[7/20/2010 10:05:58 PM] I was kidding about the charades.
[7/20/2010 10:06:00 PM] Love you too.
[7/20/2010 10:06:03 PM] Talk soon?
[7/20/2010 10:06:11 PM] Uh...
[7/20/2010 10:06:30 PM] *** Call ended ***
This is funny!
ReplyDeleteSee, don't ever say I don't read your blog. :)